10 August 2023
Written by Lizzie Quarterman
Becoming a first-time carer for a family member is not something that you can always plan for. You may even have been a carer for longer than you realise if you’ve already been looking after a loved one. Whether it’s through deteriorating health, an accident, a disability, or you have a child with additional needs, being a carer can be scary and challenging. It’s a role you have to learn quickly, but you are not alone. There are a number of resources, services and people you can connect with to help you in your new role. For support and guidance in becoming a full-time carer for a family member, read our guide below.
Becoming a full-time carer for a family member can be a rewarding experience but it’s not without its challenges. Here are some of the difficulties faced by family carers:
There are social communities online acting as a safe space where carers can share what they’re going through and offer advice to other carers in similar situations. Looking into these online spaces could help to give you some insight into some of the things you can expect to deal with in your daily life.
Carers UK is a great place to start in your online search as it’s the main membership charity in the UK for carers. The Carers UK online forum is a place where carers can speak to each other for help and support. They’ve also put together some advice for first-time carers, from carers. Here are two of our favourite quotes from their blog:
There is not much that can prepare you for becoming a full-time carer for a family member – for the challenges or the joys. The first time you need to help your loved one use the toilet or the first time a family member with dementia forgets who you are can be upsetting and challenging.
Taking care of bathing or toileting tasks can often feel like one of the trickiest things to do, especially when you’re taking care of your parents. This is because the caring role reversal can feel unsettling. To help make this a little easier, we’ve put together some suggestions to help you out:
If your loved one needs help with bathing, you should have a conversation beforehand to agree on what they need help with and what they’re comfortable with you doing before commencing the task.
Realising you don’t have an item you need at a crucial moment can make the situation far more stressful. When it’s time to help with bathing, make sure there’s plenty of shampoo and body wash to hand, as well as a clean and dry towel. Try and make sure the toilet is well stocked with toilet paper and that the route to it is kept clear to help avoid any accidents.
Many people start from the top and move down when washing. If your loved one has difficulty bending or stretching, they may be able to wash the upper half of their body while you wash the lower half. This can also help to make the task quicker and help alleviate some potential awkwardness as you’ll both be occupied.
The first few times will probably be awkward while you both adjust to the new situation, so try not to bring any more attention to it. Talk about something else that can help the situation feel more normal and relaxed. Once you’re both more comfortable with your new routine you may not need to try and distract from it as much.
It’s little touches that can help your family member to feel more presentable and like themselves. For example, taking the time to do their hair, put on their make-up, and helping them shave or brush their teeth if they struggle to do it themselves.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone! There is an abundance of information and support online for carers. Whether you want to talk to a professional on the phone, chat with someone in a similar situation to you, or just find out more information about caring for a loved one, there are sites dedicated to helping you.
Carers Trust works to improve support, services, and recognition for anyone living with the challenges of caring (unpaid) for a family member or friend who is ill, frail, disabled or has mental health or addiction problems.
They have a range of resources to help unpaid carers and the people they’re caring for, including links to local services available and a list of online forums and communities for carers.
Alzheimer’s Society supports everyone affected by dementia and has plenty of guides on how to care for someone with dementia, including the legal aspects of care. Looking after someone with a memory condition can be incredibly rewarding while also being one of the biggest challenges of your life.
They also have an online community where you can connect with others going through similar experiences. It’s a helpful reminder that you are not alone in what you’re experiencing and that there are sources of help and support available to you.
Scope supports people with additional needs of all ages. They have a wealth of information and advice available, including a dedicated section for families with disabled children, which offers guidance on the journey to a diagnosis, how to get educational support, and where to find emotional support if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
The Children’s Society has an “Include” service designed to support young carers across the UK who care for parents, siblings or others living with a chronic illness or disability. You can use the interactive map on their website to find young carer’s projects available in your local area. There is also guidance available on education, finances, mental health advice, and more.
The Care Act 2014 came into effect on April 1st 2015 and was put in place to strengthen the rights and recognition of carers in the social care system. As part of this act, you and the people you care for are entitled to an assessment of your and their needs. This is regardless of income, finances, or level of need.
These assessments are incredibly important to help work out what level of support you need from your local authority to make sure you can continue going to work or caring for children or other adults with disabilities that you’re already caring for.
A terminal diagnosis is one of the hardest things to come to terms with, but it’s important to make the most of the time you have left with the person you’re caring for.
If the person you’re caring for is able to make their own decisions and has full control of their mind, it’s important that you talk with them about putting their affairs in order. Even more so if they have been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s, as their condition will get worse with time.
Putting power of attorney in place and sorting wills will help to make life easier in the long run, as will keeping records and statements of everything involved in their care. This is so that if your loved one is living with dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease you can show them the necessary documents to help explain why something is happening or why they may not be able to do certain tasks, like driving.
It’s important to remember that you are not alone. Whatever you’re dealing with, we’re here to help you through life’s ups and downs. Whether that’s through our range of independent daily living and mobility aids to help your loved one maintain their independence for longer, or through one of our support services run by qualified Occupational Therapists:
For any other queries and support, don’t hesitate to contact us.
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